A Totally Second Hand Closet

(The piece was first published in almari) My closet is mostly dark as I haven't changed the lights inside yet. It has always been just another space that I use to dump all my anxieties and insecurities. And I still don't consider it a place to store many of my belongings.But yes, it does have … Continue reading A Totally Second Hand Closet


Laying in the greying darkness. Legs stretched, face hidden. The smell of the filthy stone floor doesn't come up. Nostrils don't itch. Eardrums don't hurt. Stilness. So rigid. Sleep isn't a necessity anymore. There are other things to explore. Areas far away, beyond what's considered normal. And healthy. More exciting than dreams. Yeah, fuck dreams … Continue reading N S

Bargaining with Passive Suicidal Ideation

TW: Self-harm, Suicide When you are in the middle of a desert, only the distant horizons or huge dunes meet your eyes. You are forced to let the winds decide in which direction you are to walk, with all the sand that has gone in your eyes, making your vision increasingly blurry. You carry on … Continue reading Bargaining with Passive Suicidal Ideation


It's this overwhelming urge to drown out everything with noise. More and more and more noise, just violently plugging into your eardrums. Today I have reached a point where they literally ache when I swallow. But the noise sometimes helps because it takes away thoughts of living in a world where I might after all … Continue reading Blame

We Need To Talk About “Trance” And Its Portrayal Of Mental Health Medication

I have been coming across a lot of fresh reviews and critical takes on the Malayalam movie Trance which came out in February, especially after it was released on Amazon Prime this week. The film has been lauded for the technical brilliance involving sound design, cinematography, background music, etc. as well as the unusual approach … Continue reading We Need To Talk About “Trance” And Its Portrayal Of Mental Health Medication