Laying in the greying darkness. Legs stretched, face hidden. The smell of the filthy stone floor doesn't come up. Nostrils don't itch. Eardrums don't hurt. Stilness. So rigid. Sleep isn't a necessity anymore. There are other things to explore. Areas far away, beyond what's considered normal. And healthy. More exciting than dreams. Yeah, fuck dreams … Continue reading N S
TW: Self-harm, Suicide When you are in the middle of a desert, only the distant horizons or huge dunes meet your eyes. You are forced to let the winds decide in which direction you are to walk, with all the sand that has gone in your eyes, making your vision increasingly blurry. You carry on … Continue reading Bargaining with Passive Suicidal Ideation
CW: Self Harm I need to read. Books, papers, articles. I need to write. Fiction, poetry, all my thoughts, all my feelings. I need to watch all the stuff I have been wanting to. I need to go out and sit still for a while without thinking about the things that I need to do … Continue reading Needs
It's this overwhelming urge to drown out everything with noise. More and more and more noise, just violently plugging into your eardrums. Today I have reached a point where they literally ache when I swallow. But the noise sometimes helps because it takes away thoughts of living in a world where I might after all … Continue reading Blame
Even today I flinch and shudder a bit when someone touches anywhere near my lower body without my knowledge or consent, accidentally or otherwise. And it's not like how kids wince at the sight of an injection needle, or how we recoil from a physical wound. It's an old scar, left inside for so long … Continue reading Touch
After I leave, from the very next day how would all the conversations centered around me go ? Would they talk of love? Or resentment? Or disappointment? Will they talk about my luck? Or will they talk about all the things I will be missing out on? Among my good deeds, choices, and my mistakes, … Continue reading Absence
Sometimes he is just an afterimage passing outside my window at noon when I am asleep; he makes his presence tangible with that odd column of chill that he leaves hanging around me. I only see a dead bird by the time I go out to make sure. One of its wings clipped from its … Continue reading Demon
I have been coming across a lot of fresh reviews and critical takes on the Malayalam movie Trance which came out in February, especially after it was released on Amazon Prime this week. The film has been lauded for the technical brilliance involving sound design, cinematography, background music, etc. as well as the unusual approach … Continue reading We Need To Talk About “Trance” And Its Portrayal Of Mental Health Medication
Check out my article that got published in Feminism In India.
Check out the full piece in LiveWire.