My wife Kate and I had recently moved into a new house. I wanted to seriously try writing something and was thinking about a career as a writer. We never really wanted to leave our apartment; the neighbors, the atmosphere, the facilities and everything. However, I had to make a choice. But wherever we were, both of us were happy; as long as we had each other.

I loved her, a lot.

The new neighborhood was a breezy, calm place. Something that would have really helped me concentrate. Everything was going well. Until Kate started showing signs.

First it was just coughing. Since the place got a bit dusty in the evenings, we thought it was just some kind of an allergy. But it didn’t stop even after a few days.  We went to see the doctor just to be sure, but even he said it was nothing serious. She was given medication.

But as days went by, she started becoming seriously ill. It reached a point where sometimes she actually spat blood. She was admitted to a hospital, but none of the doctors had a clue what the actual disease was. It was then that the news of a lethal epidemic started popping up.  A contagious disease had hit different parts of the world. The cure hadn’t been discovered yet and thousands were getting affected on a daily basis, with almost half of the affected ones dying every day. After all the analysis, Kate was diagnosed with the same disease. As the doctors were helpless, I was advised to take her home as they didn’t have much to do.

With a heavy heart, I took her back. In a few days, the whole neighborhood was affected and in a few weeks, almost the entire town had fallen prey to the contagion. Kate was growing weaker and weaker day by day. Her sunken eyes reflected her pain, her voice so hoarse and throat so weak she was unable to speak a whole sentence. But I never left her side. I knew she might not live long. But I could not leave her. Although I knew the disease would have already started establishing its roots inside me, I wasn’t going to give up.

I loved her, a lot.

But at the precipice of death, the good news came like the last ray of hope. The cure had been discovered, and it was being made available to everyone soon. I was relieved. The signs of weakness and other symptoms were starting to show up and I was feeling the frailty and fatigue. But I had to hang on and get the medicine. For me and Kate.

The day finally came when we had to get the medicine from the hospital. It was a simple drug which could be administered by the patients themselves. But the drug was expensive and limited; I was able to get enough medicine for just one person. People were protesting because of the inadequacy. But there was no use. They gave away what they had. The cure was over.

I was in a dilemma. I didn’t know what to do. But I had to make a decision.

I thought of my Kate, waiting for me to save her. I looked at the bottle in my hand; there was no way we could split. It was really hard, but I made my decision. I started my car and sped off from the hospital.

The next time Kate wakes up, I won’t be there. I will only be a mere memory. I want her to be happy, but that depends on where she ends up – heaven or hell.

I loved her, a lot. But unfortunately, I love myself more.

I am sorry, Kate.



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